Voting Bobi Wine is Like Accepting Brain Surgery by a Senior Four Student

By Kibudde Kaboggoza

In 2000, students in a Ugandan secondary school became increasingly agitated over ‘unbearable school meals.’ Soon, an affable lad called Ninsiima emerged on the political scene, promising to end the student’s woes. In his populist campaign, he promised to give each student an avocado per meal to help spice up the bland food. As one would expect, Ninsiima won by a landslide.

Later, when he came to thank the students for their overwhelming support, they immediately reminded him of his promise – avocados. But to their shock, Ninsiima’s mood suddenly turned sour. With a death stare backed up by his recently acquired power to punish, Ninsiima warned the students against ever mentioning ‘that word’ again. They never did, and the avocados never came.

Although many students were caught unawares, Ninsiima’s trajectory was predictable. If they had asked the right questions, they would have quickly realised that Ninsiima’s promises were nothing more than comforting illusions.

To fulfil such a promise (without increasing school fees), Ninsiima would have had to supply avocados to the school at no extra cost. This would require a personal avocado farm, a delivery system, or a lot of money to obtain them from a third party. Ninsiima had neither of those things. So, even if his intentions were genuine, he lacked the capacity to fulfil his pledge.

Today, those former students and many other Ugandans find themselves in a similar situation.

Amid their infuriation at a corrupt and mostly nepotistic government, a young and likable Bobi-Wine, aka Robert Kyagulanyi, renowned for his music, bad-boy image, and rags-to-riches story, has emerged on the political scene. He says all Uganda’s problems will vanish if they vote him as president.

But those who learned from the Ninsiima experience know better than to trust sweet words.  They learned the hard way that an aspirant’s willingness to deliver is insufficient on its own – it must be backed by capacity.

In that spirit socialite Zari Hussein inquired whether Bobi Wine had the credentials (capacity) to deliver on his too good to be true promises. All she needed was an explanation, but as is customary with some NUP party supporters, she was told off and showered with vulgarities that my faith and upbringing cannot allow me to repeat here.

Among NUP supporters, such savagery is known as “showing someone level.” Notably, NUP’s leadership did not (and still doesn’t) rebuke this disproportional and inappropriate response to a simple but essential query.

Those who worry know that a country with nascent systems like Uganda (unfairly) demands its leaders to have a broad and deep grasp of subjects that are vital to effective governance of society. Bobi Wine’s skeletal grasp of such topics is profoundly concerning. He insists we shouldn’t worry because he will seek guidance from experts. But how will he discern good from bad advice if he is green about these critical subjects?

Secondly, what will he do when the experts disagree and give conflicting advice (as they often do)? The truth is, one can’t delegate the role of understanding the basics of his or her pursued career.

What Bobi Wine metaphorically wants us to do is accept brain surgery from a Senior Four biology student who, although incapable, promises to consult expert surgeons during the surgery. Accepting such absurdity requires one’s judgment to be clouded by strong emotions, such as a fanatical hatred for Museveni or a consuming love for Bobi Wine. But for Uganda to progress, cooler heads must prevail.