Dealing with a Heart Break for the First Time

When was the first time you experienced a heart break and what did you do thereafter? In this game called “Love” although each partner is optimistic that the relationship will work, there is no guarantee that one will not be disappointed by their partner along the way and hence suffering a heart break.

The major reason why relationships fail is the mismatch in the expectations each partner comes with into the relationship.  Once the two people entering a relationship do not align to each other’s expectations, a break up is eminent. But what happens when someone experiences a heart break? What do they do?

These article shares testimonies of what some people did when they first experienced a break up with their respective partners.  For purposes of helping some of them heal and move on and also protecting those that have gotten into new relationships, we shall assign them pseudo names.

Susan a 26 year old employee in one of the financial institutions says she fell in love at the age of 22 with her now ex boyfriend Timothy. Due to irreconcilable differences, Susan and Timothy parted ways after one year and six months into their relationship. The following week Susan entered into another relationship because she wanted to revenge on her ex- boyfriend. One thing led to another and within one month she was pregnant for the new guy. Three months into the relationship, the new guy proposed and Susan made sure her ex boyfriend Timothy sees the engagement ring. After giving birth to a bouncing baby boy, Susan was wedded but sadly the marriage lasted only one year. Susan is now a “proud” single mum.

“I had dated Martin for 8 months and it was a great experience.” Said Sandra a 28 year Account Manager in an advertising agency. “One day he told me he had made up his mind to end the relationship. I almost went mad because i couldn’t even think of what i might have done wrong” continued Sandra. After realising that Martin was not about to change his mind despite the pleas, Sandra hatched a plan to make Martin Stay.”I told him i was pregnant. I faked pregnancy test results and even showed him proof that i had registered for antenatal”.  According to Sandra this plan worked  and Martin stayed around, however five months into the fake pregnancy the lie became too expensive for Sandra to sustain. Sandra changed her address and blocked Martin on all platforms so he could not access her.

Gabriella 41 years now narrates that while in her twenties she dated a very handsome guy but unfortunately the relationship ended due to his unfaithfulness. “It was time to move on and give someone else a chance but his name was boldly written on my chest. I had a tattoo of his name” narrated Gabriella. Not wanting to go through the hustle of removing the tattoo, Gabriella started looking for men with the name Duncan. “I did not care about the looks and character because all i wanted was a man with the name Duncan to replace him,” said Gabriella. She in the process turned down several potential suitors because they did not have the name she wanted, something she later realized wasted several years of her life. Gabriella has since dropped that criteria and she is still single and happily searching.

Khalid 32 and Jaymie were popular on social media because of how they displayed their romance. “We were the ideal couple everyone admired. We even had a couple’s YouTube Channel,” narrated Khalid. He found out that Jaymie had been cheating on him all along but he stayed in the relationship because he did not want people to know that their relationship had failed despite all the counselling and relationship tips they were giving on their channel. Eighteen months into the relationship, Jaymie called it quits and moved on with one of the men in her circles, she could not bear the shame any longer. “The stupid me kept on posting us on my own social media page for another five months so that people would not suspect that we were not together”, said Khalid.

According to Nuriat 45years, she and George dated for slightly over 3 years until she caught George ready handed cheating on her with another girl. Although they sat down with George and talked through the issue, she felt the urge to revenge on George for she was deeply hurt. “I paid some guys to beat him up to the pulp as it was the only thing that would calm me down,” said Nuriat. After executing her plan Nuriat called off the relationship.

“We argued that night Davido staged a concert at Kololo independence grounds.  Julius insisted that the UB40 concert that had been previously held in the same location was better organised while i insisted the organizers of Davido’s concert had done a better job, narrated Rita 21 years old. The argument got heated the moment they reached Julius’ hostel in Kikoni after the concert. In the moment, Julius threw a Television remote at Rita, something that angered her further. “I threw my phone too at him and it badly hit his nose. We both ended the relationship that night”, said Rita. After a few days had passed, Rita begged Julius to come back but he disagreed. Rita then hatched a plan with her cousin Harriet to post on her (Harriet) WatsApp status that she had died. “I intended to make Julius feel bad and come to my hostel” This became a very expensive venture because a lot of people started calling and texting. Unfortunately Julius was not one of those.

Rachael 30 was not the type that takes alcohol but she went out to go get drunk the day her two year old relationship with Nelson ended. “The last thing i remember that night was drinking eight bottles of beer”, she said. Rachael woke up the next day in Mpererwe Police cell for reasons she could not recall. She had to pay Uganda Shillings fifty thousand to bail herself.

The above testimonies may sound interesting to some reader  but a number of people (male and female) out there have done so many terrible things after their first heart breaks which have had a lasting impact on their lives. There are many that have attempted to or even taken their lives, many have committed murders among other worse things as a way of revenge. It is however always important for one to have people in their lives that they can freely talk to any time of the day to seek guidance and counselling when faced with such challenges. Secondly people must learn to control their tempers and where possible avoid situations where one is provoked. One writer advised thus, “Do not make any decisions when you are happy or annoyed.”

For God and My Country