Ronald Kizza Kasoma
On 12th May 2024, the world came together to celebrate “Mother’s Day”. Uganda but more so the people in the corporate world and those on social media were not left behind. They treated their beloved mothers to sumptuous dinners, get away parties among others.
From my observation, motherhood is the most underrated job. A mother is a full time employee with duties that last a life time. Many women have embraced this job with lots of love and respect and they have executed it without fear or favour and without expecting a reward. They have hence earned themselves tittles like, Super Mother, Hero among others. On the other hand there are quite a number of women who haven’t embraced this job fully. They therefore execute it while complaining, they have mistreated other people’s children, they have practiced witchcraft in order to ensure some children don’t make it in life, they have murdered people’s children, they have starved many children to death among others.
In my view, the hardest thing about motherhood is the mental load. It is so huge. As a mom you are expected to sort, arrange, organise, balance, plan, prepare, anticipate, remember, fix etc. on top of being expected to have all the answers in the world! This is not a mean task as it takes a toll on the mother’s mental health. As a result many mothers have intentionally or unintentionally abandoned their roles and have moved on to other things. It is also worthwhile noting that many mothers have lost lives in the process of executing this humongous task of motherhood.
Motherhood is like that laptop or computer that can open several windows programs at the same time and operating on each program simultaneously because switching off or closing of one window program might mean loosing all the data. – Call it multitasking. Despite all that, mothers are expected to remain sane 24 hours a day, seven days a week. How can they pull this off? Below are my thoughts basing on what I have observed and heard.
Despite the expectations from the world, the earlier mothers realize that they can’t do everything the better they will appreciate and enjoy their role as mothers. Mothers must not forget that they are as human as other people and therefore they can only achieve so much within a given time frame. Where possible delegating some of the tasks will help them execute their tasks smartly and with ease. One cannot be every where at the same time so where possible delegate to the people around you.
I believe motherhood starts with the mothers themselves. Mothers should start by mothering themselves before mothering their children. It is called self love. You cannot give what you don’t have. Mothers should take care of themselves first, eat that very good meal that you desire for your family, take that trip that you would want your family to take, workout, go for those outings before you think of taking your children out, and get a minute or two and learn from other people (No man is an island).
Embrace the Journey of Motherhood. Motherhood is not an event but rather a process or journey. This means its full of challenges (real, visible, invisible and imagined challenges). It is important for mothers to embrace this journey and find joy in the small moments. It is okay for a mother to celebrate when their child gets the first tooth she doesn’t have to wait for the full set of teeth. As long as this kind of celebration is not inconveniencing any other person.
Embrace imperfections. As earlier stated, motherhood is a journey and so there are many things that go right but also many things go wrong. It is not an event therefore there is a lot to learn from the journey. As a mother you are not expected to be perfect for you are only human. Whenever a mother makes a mistake (small or grave) accept the mistake, learn from it, forgive yourself, stand up and carry on with the journey of motherhood. A mother should not punish themselves over a mistake they have made because they are only human.
As a mother always remember that children grow up and leave, the house will always get dirty again, children will always mess up for they are innocent, however your emotional health is also as important as mothering that child rightly and if your emotional health is neglected, you may not get a second chance.
Motherhood is not a sprint or an event that you will perform and move on, no, it is a life time project and a commitment, so please, be easy on yourself, prioritise your happiness and above all continue trusting in the Lord.
I wish you all Mothers the best.
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