If you have been following the news lately, you may have noticed something strange in East Africa. Suddenly, every capital city is hosting its own version of “Protest Season.” Like mangoes in January, riots are popping up everywhere Tanzania, Kenya, and now some people are attempting to export them wholesale to Uganda. How convenient!
Of course, we are told these are “organic youth uprisings,” purely driven by Gen Z frustration and economic pressures. And yes, the youth are genuinely struggling. But only a very naïve chicken believes the fox visits the coop out of friendship. Something bigger is stirring behind the scenes.
Welcome to Chaos Ltd, the newest regional franchise with branches in Nairobi, Dar es Salaam, and a stubborn one trying to open in Kampala. The business model is simple:
- Find angry young people.
- Provide hashtags, megaphones, and “solidarity speeches.”
- Vanish when the tear gas arrives.
Meanwhile, the same “activists” who shout “freedom!” on the streets mysteriously land in conferences abroad, collecting per diems and recounting heroic tales of chaos they themselves never tasted. Some even parade accident victims as political trophies, as we saw in Nairobi in 2022 until Besigye and Muntu, seasoned enough to smell nonsense, openly rebuked the circus.
But back to the present. Look at Tanzania. After their fiery demonstrations, tourists packed their bags, hotels cried, a bus terminal turned into barbecue, and national image dropped faster than a network signal in a storm. So, who benefited? Certainly not Tanzanians. Only the chaos merchants those who never lose a single tear when ordinary citizens lose their lives.
Now they want to reproduce the formula across borders. They whisper, “East African solidarity!” but what they truly mean is, “Let’s export instability!” They treat the region like a laboratory where every failed protest experiment can be tested again in the next country.
Uganda, however, has politely declined to stock this product. The Constitution insists on lawful, peaceful protest not the imported type that comes with tyres, petrol, and foreign sponsors. And honestly, thank God. We cannot let our homeland become a playground for travelling revolutionaries who don’t even know the price of posho. So here is the message to all East Africans:
- Protect your land.
- Guard your peace.
And when Chaos Ltd sends its agents with grand speeches and camera-ready slogans, ask them one simple question: “Where were you when the dust settled and the families buried their children?” Because peace is priceless and chaos is the costliest scam ever sold to a continent.